Since the ancient times, the winner is king and loser is enemy, the losing side will always be met with bleak consequences.
I was taken to the Prime Minister Estate by Meng Shao Jue, and was held captive there, a room that was elegantly and prettily decorated, became my shelter.
If I were to describe this in terms of prison condition, my lifestyle is still extremely comfortable. A cosy bedroom, three meals of luxurious and delicious dishes a day, exquisite tasting desserts, and soup sent in on time in the afternoon, a shelf of all sorts of different types of books, and a maid that I can freely order around –– rather than saying I’m a prisoner, better to say I’m a noble young lady.
If this was the past, perhaps I would feel extremely satisfied with such a lifestyle, after all, I am an easy-going and indifferent person, heartlessly adapting to wherever I end up. But the current situation doesn’t seem to allow me to give rise to such ‘take it easy’ attitude, I am unable to uphold my own ‘overthinking is of no use’ principle, my mind unable to stop thinking no matter when, thinking about what kind of situation Yuwen Rui is in right now, has he been forced to confess by Meng Shao Jue, has he been sentenced by Meng Shao Jue, has he suffered any other torture……?
I dislike these worries of mine that cannot be suppressed, but I am incapable of stopping it.
Meng Shao Jue is an intelligent person, always has been.
It has already been three days since he brought me back from the inn, but within these three days, he has never once showed up, and had only sent someone — who isn’t considered unfamiliar to me — to attend to my needs, leaving me alone to overthink more and more, and as I overthink more and more, the more clueless I get, the more clueless I get, the more worked up I get, in the end, I was depressed to the point I could no longer maintain my onlooker mindset, and my usual careless smile.
I have never been this worked up before.
I’m worked up over not knowing how I can escape from here, I’m worked up over not knowing how I can notify Mu Yi that we’ve been captured, I’m worked up over not knowing how Yuwen Rui is right now, I’m worked up over the fact that the calmness I had once taken pride in, is of completely no use right now.
Turns out I am so incompetent.
The doors are pushed open by someone, Qing Ya’s apple face is still ever so delicately fair and likeable, she smiles sweetly as she says to me: “Young Lady, the desserts are here.”
“Qing Ya.” I lift a lock of my own hair to play with, wrapping it around my finger, loop after loop, “What do we have today?”
Qing Ya places the bowl on the table, lifting the lid and mixes it well with a spoon, “It’s bird’s nest today, Gentleman said Young Lady doesn’t seem to be looking good, need more supplements.”
“Bird’s nest?” I approach her, looking at the bird’s nest without much of an expression, saying: “Have I never told you I don’t like eating bird’s nest?”
Qing Ya doesn’t think much of it, smoothly replying: “It is most likely that this servant has forgotten, may Young Lady pardon this offence, this servant shall definitely remember it next time.”
I raise my brows, “Next time?”
The suppressed flames in my heart abruptly flares up, why say next time? In this world, how many matters have a next time, and how many matters doesn’t have a next time? I reach out to take the bowl, leaving the steam to blur my vision, I coldly say: “There is no next time.”
Having said that, I loosen my grip, leaving the bowl to directly fall down, but unexpectedly, the shattering sound is not heard, because Qing Ya had reached out to steadily take the bowl, face carrying a harmless smile as she says to me: “May Young Lady hold it steadily, it wouldn’t be good if you get burnt.”
Of course, I wouldn’t think she is sincerely afraid of me getting burnt, rather than concern, the flash of warning in her eyes is more believable. I think to myself, the people of the Meng Estate indeed all have hidden characters under the surface, even this Qing Ya — who had once naively pestered me — is a master of this.
Regarding my character, everything is good, just my pettiness isn’t very good, really.
I just can’t stand the sight of people showing off in front of my face.
And so, I gently smile, saying to her: “Thank you.”
Then I take the bowl from her hands again, fiercely throwing it to the ground before her face.
The porcelain shatters to pieces, bird’s nest splashing in all directions, wetting my skirt and shoes.
A complete mess.
Qing Ya pauses, then immediately reacts, warmly smiling as though it was nothing, “This servant shall tidy it up now.”
“Tidy?” I wave my hand, “No need, I’ll do it myself.”
I no longer look at her, squatting down to pick up the shattered pieces, Qing Ya does not stop me this time, just quietly watching from the side, eyes containing other thoughts.
I was slow and focused in picking them up, the sharp pieces scratch the tip of my fingers, causing a slight itching sensation, the surfacing of the red and round blood makes me feel better at heart.
I am suddenly able to somewhat understand why those madmen would kill people to vent out their feelings, because when your feelings reach extreme depression, fresh red blood is able to make you feel carefree like opium.
“Young Lady……” Qing Ya also squats down after a while, speaking up to say: “Just leave this servant to do it.”
I lightly reject her: “No need.”
Qing Ya says no more, squatting by my side as she watches my actions. I continue my state of being in my own world, until Meng Shao Jue takes big strides to my side and squats down, instantly grabbing my bleeding finger, furrowing his brows as he asks: “What happened?”
“Nothing.” I draw back my hand, “Just bleeding.”
His dark orbs flickers, domineeringly holding up my finger again, parting his thin lips as he places my finger in his mouth, a hot and soft touch.
A little reminder for those who may have forgotten (I know I sure had to look it up XD), Qing Ya is the maid that had served under Ying Lu, the one that Ah-Lan meets when going to get Ying Lu’s bird’s nest from the kitchen, where she then comes across the snake that is San-er for the first time. (see chapter 4)
Thinking back to their first meeting, it’s interesting that she’s the one to bring Ah-Lan bird’s nest this time…